Three.
That’s the thing that keeps coming up in my head when I start thinking about all the craziness that’s going on in my life right now.
Three. Three. Three.
Well, things aren’t crazy right now. But they will be. Oh, will they ever. Right now, it’s actually sort of quiet, but I don’t believe that’s going to last for too much longer. This isn’t the kind of quiet that lasts. This is the kind of quiet that occupies the split second between the last sparks of the whisk and the explosion of the dynamite it’s attached to. The kind of quiet that says, Don’t get comfortable, homes. Things are about to get…messy.
The number three figures prominently into all this. That’s because there are three different strands of that whisk attached to that piece of dynamite, and I’m a little worried because I’m not sure how they’re all supposed to fit together.
So I tried figuring out the best way to describe these three things. Not just what they are, but what they represent in my life. Now, there are plenty of things that emphasize three: Triangles. The Three Musketeers. Tres leches cake. The Holy Trinity. Three’s company….Three is an important number.
But none of these things quite fit the illustration I wanted to make, so I thought and thought and thought, and finally came up with the appropriate reference. Still, I was a little apprehensive. That’s because this reference will shatter whatever preconceived notions you had of my coolness. That’s because you’ll see what a huge uberdork I really am. That’s because…
I’m about to use the Legend of Zelda to describe my life.
I know, right?
Ugh.
But please, bear with me.
I’ll keep this real short and simple. In the games, there are these big glowing triangle thing called the Triforce. Somehow, it holds the entire world together in peace and harmony. Don’t ask me how this works. I will only say it works the same way that Keanu Reeves and Alex Winters save the world with Wild Stallyns and electric guitars.
Wait? What? Zelda…Bill and Ted…Mike, where in the hell are you going with all this?
Okay. Okay. Focus.
So the Triforce is made of three smaller triangles. The Triforce of Wisdom. The Triforce of Courage. And the Triforce of Power. Separate, those three things do some pretty cool things, but when they come together, you win the game, save the princess and bring peace to the land.
Each of these three crazy aspects of my life can be summed by one of these three pieces of the Triforce. Here’s the first:
The Triforce of Wisdom
I bet you’re thinking I’m going to talk about school here.
I’m not.
Instead, I’m going to talk about work.
See, I don’t have just any old job. I work at a group home for boys. Teenage boys. My title is recreation assistant. This involves a broad range of tasks. Driving (I know the streets of Los Angeles as well as any cab driver.) Tutoring (I am way smarter than a fifth grader.) Mentoring (
Have you ever been to a Civil War battle reenactment? My guys have.) And playing (2 years running, and no one hasn’t beaten me at 21.)
Seriously, it’s an awesome job. It’s made me into a man and at my age, I know I’m lucky to have a job that’s more than just something to occupy eight hours a day.
Still, there are serious drawbacks.
1. It’s stressful. I’ve developed extremely thick skin and have learned how to develop interpersonal skills that allow me to relate to people without giving them ways to hurt me. But that’s not always successful. It’s one of those jobs where the more you care, the more you get hurt. And almost everyone here cares a lot. Which is why burnout is so high. I’ve been here for over two years. For the kind of front-line work I do, that’s a long time. Over that period, our staff of a dozen or so has entirely changed over. Twice.
2. I have to work weekends. This isn’t always a bad thing. I’ve gotten paid to go to Disneyland, Six Flags and Cirque de Soleil, but it just makes having a social life very, very difficult. And by difficult, I mean dangerously close to non-existent.
3. I don’t get paid much. I live paycheck to paycheck. I can’t afford a proper vacation. I do get benefits, and we get fed at work, but it’s non-profit work. And I’m way overqualified for what I do.
All that said, none of that matters. I know where it’s leading. I know these two years have been worth far more than what any dollar sign can show. I mean that both professionally and personally.
But I know that it’s getting close to being time to move on. I can’t survive long term in this job. No way I could ever raise a family on my budget. I can’t even afford to have a girlfriend.
So where do I go from here? Hmm…This is still uncertain for me, and something that these other two aspects of my life are ultimately going to decide.
But that’ll be for another time.
Comments (14)
That NGE photo had me cracking up so hard.
But onto the main topic, props to you for sticking it out and doing what you do. I could not handle that shit. I can relate to those kids on so many levels, but when I recognize that when I was at that age, I couldn't be reasoned with so I can totally see how frustrating it must be to try to talk to teenagers when they're so dead set on thinking that they're right and 'nobody fuckin' understands' lol
"I can’t even afford to have a girlfriend."
(silent laughter)
have her pay!
anyhow, keep shaking that tree mr. woodrowwilson. some coconuts are ready to fall.
I seriously admire what you do.
And getting paid to go to the most magical place on earth? SUH - WEET!
Find a sugar mama.
I love the analogy.
mad props for sticking with it and giving it your all....I commend you brother
If its time to move on, im sure everything will fall into place, just keep your eyes open and the opportunities will present themselves
That's how I felt about CPS. The job was killing me, but the kids needed me. My new job is much more manageable, but I am still making a difference.
at my school there are those from decent families / backgrounds, and those that must have rough lives. i'm an easy going guy and a fairly decent athlete so i get respect from those in that hard knocks group. i treat them with respect right back, but i get it dude, they think and process differently. they can be hard to be around. i talk differently with them then the way i talk with my own friends. it makes being around them for any length of time difficult.
I used to manage group homes for developmentally delayed adults. I loved it, but I know about the survival thing. Good luck to you.
Burnout is a real problem. That you've stayed 2 years means you have developed very good coping skills or you are nuts. Either way, kudos for being a positive force in their lives. The economy is bad and jobs are scarce but something will come along. As for the social life - (nods sadly) it will take a special girl to be willing to eat picnic lunches of PB&J while exploring the park or a free art gallery - on every date. Good luck on that one.
@Ironstove - oh, nge! i knew i recognized those costumes. i just did a google search for 'three dorks.' that was the fifth picture.
and oh man, do i know what's it like trying to talk to unreasonable teenagers. today one of my guys started asking me questions out of the blue about publishing a book. of course, he has no idea that i am a novelist on the side and actually know a lot about the publishing industry. when i told him what i know, he told i was wrong and had no clue what i was talking about. i wanted to do mean things to him.
@PopApricot - it was pretty sweet, actually. i even got a mickey hat and a few pins out of it.
@slamjoe - that's right after i get her to ask me out.
@Viewtiful_Justin - there's one. but then again, you are a video game character so of course you'd like it.
@krazzykorean - know any?
i know a little bit of korean.
@madpanic - thanks. i'll get more into the opportunities in later posts. i have some huge ones looming.
@Power_Ranger_Freak - i don't think i could handle what you do. you work at a level 14 right? (or is that a california thing?) level 14 are juvie detention centers.
@curtainsopen - it's really amazing what the mere presence of a parental figure (or lack thereof) can have on the development of a child's mind.
@storyslut - thanks. there are big things on the horizon. big things.
@MooncatBlue - oh man, that would drive me nuts. most of my guys are cognitively okay. they just behavioral issues. @murisopsis - or it means a little of both. i think what has really helped is that it's more than just a paycheck for me. it fits right in with what i'm studying, so i've viewed it more as an extended internship.
So will there be parts 2 and 3 on Courage and Power?
I had read some articles on how tough it is to be in such line of jobs, high emotional stress and low pay, etc. So the staff turnover rate is very high. Hang in there.
I'm not sure how is the system like in your place. But at my place, they likes to switch over to be staff in schools, since they are valued for their experience with kids. And the pay is much higher. FYI.
that first photo has me completely intrigued...