Friday, 10 July 2009

• Disneyfornia Adventureland: The Sequel

  
  Photo courtesy of the awesomeness that is Awkwardfamilyphotos.
  
  I went to Disneyland again last week. Or rather, I went to California Adventure last week, which used to be the parking lot for Disneyland but is now a theme park based on California in California. Totally makes sense, in a redundant sort of way. After all, the park happens to be in Anaheim, the home of the Los Angeles Angels.
  
  That's right, for those who habla espanol, we have a baseball team named The Angels Angels.
  Take. That.
  
  Objectively speaking, CA is the weaker link of the two parks. It doesn’t have the Disney charm of it’s older brother, and the thrill rides are too sparse to make it worth the price of admission.
  
  I don’t know. Maybe I’m spoiled. I grew up in Cincinnati, and went to King’s Island every summer, one of the premier theme parks in all of….Ohio. That may not sound like much, but consider that King’s Island plays second fiddle only to the Buckeye State’s Cedar Point, universally acknowledged as the roller coaster mecca of the world. No small potatoes. In all areas of measurement, KI was, and still is, one of the best theme parks around. And nobody else has anything close to The Beast.
  
  So I know theme parks, and while some of the rides at California Adventure are really, really good (Tower of Terror, Soarin’ over California, and the new Toy Story shooting gallery thingamabob), there aren’t enough of them to warrant financial satisfaction.
  
  That’s fine, because then you can just hop over to Disneyland. Which is exactly what we did.
  
  This is the preferred strategy for maximum rideage:
  
  Go to California during the day.
  Get a fastpass for Soarin’ first thing because that ride always has a long line.
  Ride as much as you can until 9, then head over to the other park.
  Once there, get on as many rides as you can over in Tomorrowland while the fireworks are still happening.
  Once they end, everyone makes a mad dash for Space Mountain so ride it while you can.
  By 10, start making your way over to the other side. Only don’t go via Main Street. People are now exiting the park en masse and you’ll feel like you’re caught in a stream during salmon spawning season. Instead, go around the back of the park.
  Ride Thunder Mountain at night. Make faces like this.
  Ride Jungle Cruise at night, wait for the guide named Scott. Or Tom. I can't remember. But he is heelarious.
  Ride Indiana Jones at night, because this is the only time there isn’t a line. Laugh at all the schmucks who think they're taking a shortcut in the line by hopping a fence into the exit aisle. Haha.
  
  All told, do this and you can ride upwards of 15 rides during the day. Plus eat one bread bowl full of broccoli and cheese soup. BONUS.
  
  Also, plan to not do anything the following day. Your feet will thank you.
  
  
  
  
  

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